Being A Successful Divorced Dad
Failure is one of the ugly things of life. Once we ‘think’ we have failed at something, often we beat ourselves up repeatedly. My conviction is that failure of some kind is common to us all. Successful people are those who decide to get up and continue to move on make a different life.
As a young Dad who did not choose divorce, I found myself being served papers and had no choice but to accept it. Although, I fought the failure reminder often, I one day realized that I had to move on and that I did.
Although personal failure is not a requirement for being a successful Dad, we should quickly realize that failures can be used as stepping-stones to better and more meaningful relationships with our children and others. The stronger we navigate through our failures, the better we can help our children navigate through their own.
We can all agree that failure is real and does happen. Often it happens no matter what you do or what you try. So, we must forget our past failures and move on. We must move on and focus on your greatest gift … your children.
From past personal experience, here are things that worked for me:
• Look back but move forward.
• Leave the pain and hurt behind. While it still may bother you decide to keep going.
• Nourish your own soul. We can’t make others do anything they don’t want to do and we cannot change the past.
• Watch what you say. Begin to speak only positive towards your situation.
• Lifeguards are taught to secure themselves first. Get it together and secure yourself.
• Airlines tell you to secure your mask first and then help your children. Get prepared.
• Find time for daily quiet time, reflection and reading.
• Begin making time for your children on a regular- steady basis. Schedule it on your planner in advance.
• Love, love and more love will help your children understand that if Dads is not there every day, he will always be with you in your mind and heart. Make them understand you are only a phone call or email away.
• Make wise decisions.
• Set personal goals and obtain them before entering any serious relationship
• Live on less than you make.
• Make a spiritual home.
• Surround yourself with good support from friends and family members.
• Don’t allow yourself to become discouraged. If you see it coming on, reach out to others for help and support.
• If your child gets curious and starts asking questions about the divorce, and what happened between the marriage, do not lie or blame the other. Sit down, explain, and tell the truth.
You can be a good Dad, and you have what it takes! If I can do it as I look back over all that I went through, I know others can do it as well. Make it a heart matter and know that God will work all things out in a more positive manner than they may appear now. You can be a Dad 4Life !
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