Have you ever failed at something and wished you had never even tried it? Maybe you have made a few mistakes and have lived with regrets from making those mistakes.
Maybe you have had a belief like this for parenting or a Divorced Dad like me?
Well, do you know that you can free yourself from these past failures and mistakes and live regret-free? Yes, it is hard to do, but the more we practice living regret-free, the more freedom we will experience and live the life God intended us to live.
I heard a gentleman in his seventies say today that he was “just too old to change?” My response is that as long as we are breathing, we can change, but we first must want to change. Yes, it will take some work, but if we desire to change and ask God to help us change genuinely, we can, no matter what age.
Hugh Prather is an American self-help writer, lay minister, and
A counselor once said, “Letting go is freedom. When you find yourself in a useless battle, you merely walk off the battlefield.” By not forgiving others or ourselves of past failures and mistakes, we are fighting a useless and endless battle. Why continue to fight and beating yourself up over and over again regarding the same error or failure.
We can all learn from our mistakes if we want to learn from them. It may take some time to change and head in the opposite direction, but we can.
As I experienced, often it takes us longer to mature in various areas of our life, and sometimes that maturity comes by trial and error.
I’ve shared that my Dad died at the age of forty of a massive heart attack. I was only eleven years old, and of course, I was not mature enough to understand, and no one as a teacher or mentor to show me how to grieve or grow up. Unfortunately, I learned by trial and error.
I was married in my early twenties, but my wife wanted a divorce three years into our marriage. We had a beautiful girl, and she was one and a half when her mother wanted to go in another direction. I couldn’t change her mind. Although I didn’t like it, we divorced against my will.
Was it a mistake to marry at all, or was I a failure as a husband or a Dad? I thought so at first. I came to realize that I couldn’t change the direction of another person or make their decisions. However, I could change my own, including my thinking. I left the courtroom as a former husband and a despondent Dad, but I made a serious decision that day that would change the course of my future as well as my daughter’s. I decided that I would always be her Dad, and nothing would ever change that fact.
There were weeks where I sacrificed food to make sure I paid child support, and no matter what, I would be involved in her life as her Dad. Our marriage may have failed, but I decided not to fail as Dad. Notice, I didn’t say I would not make mistakes because I did.
Everyone makes mistakes, but I didn’t let those mistakes dictate a failure mentality. The more we allow ourselves to feel like we have failed and would never succeed is when our minds will start believing it. Our brain starts to entertain what Dr. Caroline Leaf calls “Toxic Thinking, “It is like someone just “Switches Off your Brain.”
We mature in our lives when we do what we are supposed to do, regardless of how we feel. So, do failures or mistakes need to last a lifetime? Some folks think so, but it is all in the way we think. We control what we think … each of us must control that on our own.
Several years ago, the CEO of Coca-Cola Enterprises at the time, Bryan Dyson, spoke of the relation of work to one’s other commitments: He told the graduates, “Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends, and spirit, and you are keeping them all in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls, family, health, friends, and spirit, are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”
You may wonder or ask how can that be accomplished? This is the year 2021 and, here are a few things that may help you keep that balance.
1. Don’t underestimate your worth by comparing yourself to others.
2. Know that each of us is different and, therefore, unique.
3. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important.
4. Only you know what is best for you.
5. Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart.
6. Cling to them as you would your life, for, without them, life is meaningless.
7. Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
8. Don’t give up when you still have something to give.
9. Nothing is over until the moment you stop trying.
10. Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
11. Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
12. Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
13. Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been but also where you are going.
14. Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
15. Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
16. Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
17. Life is not a race but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
18. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, and that is why we call it the present.”
Try to remember that many times success consists of hanging on one minute longer. If you know you have made a mistake with your children, admit it, apologize if you have to but don’t think it makes you inadequate ….it makes you human.
Your future begins with you. Help your family dream, and don’t let them think their failures have to be a Lifelong event.
Decide now and this year the best in 202won!